దొరకునా ఇటువంటి సేవ?...

అంతా క్షణాల్లో జరిగిపోయింది.మెయిల్ రావడం,సామాన్లు సర్దుకోవడం,రైలు ఎక్కడం,డిల్లీ లో దిగడం ILP కి రావడం... అంతా కలలా ఉంది.

అక్కడి నుంచి మొదలయ్యాయి నా కష్టాలు.ILP అంటే ఎదో........ఊహించుకున్న నాకు REALITY చూడగానె భళ్ళుమని ఎదో పగిలిన శబ్దం వినిపించింది. అది నా గుండె అని ఒక సెకను తర్వాత అర్థమైంది.హాస్టల్ తాజ్ బంజారా లెవెల్లో ఊహించుకున్నాను. ఇది చూస్తే శ్రీ దుర్గా భవాని లాడ్జ్ లెవెల్లో ఉంది.పొన్లే పాపం , మన కంపెనీ యే కదా సర్దుకుపొదామనుకున్నాను.

నాకు నోట్లో నాలుక లేదని వాడికి తెలిసిపొయినట్టుంది. ఇద్దరు ఉండాల్సిన రూం లో ముగ్గురిని కుక్కాడు. పైగా అని ఒక లెటరు చేతిలో పెట్టాడు. రూము మళ్ళీ డిటొ దుర్గా భవాని విలాస్.

అసలే ఆకలి మీద ఉన్నానేమో వెంటనే భోజనానికి వెళ్ళాను.చూడ్డానికి ప్లేటు ఫుల్లుగానే ఉంది.అన్నం పసుపుగా ఉంది. పప్పు లో వెయ్యాల్సిన ఉప్పంతా తీస్కొచ్చి మజ్జిగ లో వేసాడు.
(ఒక శుభ దినాన అన్నం లో స్క్రూ వచ్చింది. అది వేరే సంగతి. )
ఒక పదార్ధాన్ని చూపించి అది స్వీటా హాటా అన్నాను. వాడు ఏమో అన్నాడు. అప్పుడినా నేను ఆగచ్చు కదా? పెద్ద హీరో లాగ టేస్టు చేసాను.


దిమ్మ తిరిగి మైండు బ్లాకైంది.దెబ్బకి రూము కి వెళ్ళి మంచం మీద పడి నిద్ర పోయాను.

ఇక్కడ ఉన్న సీనియర్లు రకరకాల కష్టాలు చెప్పి మమ్మల్ని ఎంటర్ టైన్ చేసారు. "దోమలున్నాయి జాగర్త" అని నోటిసు కూడా కనిపించింది.

క్లాసులు మొదలయ్యాక ఇక మా భాధలు చెప్పనలవి కాదు.
ఇది కాలేజ్ కాదంటారు. మేము స్టూడెంట్స్ కాదంటారు. కాని మేము హోం వర్కులు చెయ్యాలి. అస్సైన్మెంట్లు రాయాలి.ఎగ్జాములకి చదవాలి.

ఓ సారి మాకు "జీతం పెంచామహో"అని నోటీసు వచింది.
దెబ్బకి ఒక్కళ్ళు డ్రీం సాంగులు వేసేస్కున్నాం.
మూడు లక్షలని ఒకడు, నాలుగు అని ఒకడు.....
ఆఖరికి మా బోసు గాదు అరగంట సేపు మీటింగు పెట్టి మాకు నెలకి నలభయ్ రూపాయలు పెంచాం, పండగ చేసుకోమన్నాడు.దెబ్బకి మా ఫేసులు చూడాలి.కత్తి వేటుకి నెత్తురు చుక్క లేదు.

అన్నట్టు మీకు బోసు గురించి చెప్పలేదు కదూ...
ఇక్కడ సుమిత్ బోస్ అని ఒక జీవి ఉంటాడు. సీతయ్య లాగ ఎవడి మాటా వినడు. నవ్వుతూ వాతలు పెట్టే రకం.అసలు ఇల్ప్ ఐపోయేలోపు వీడిని మంకీ కేప్ వేసుకుని చితక్కొట్టెయ్యాలి.


పోన్లే అని వాడిచ్చిన రూముల్లో సర్దుకుపొతుంటే ఇంకో ఫిట్టింగు పెట్టాడు.ఎదో నార్త్ అమ్మాయిలని చూస్కుంటూ భాధలు మర్చిపోతున్న మమ్మల్ని తీస్కెళ్ళి పది కిలోమీటర్ల దూరంలో ఇంకో హాస్టెల్లో పడేసాడు

బీటు కొట్టే యోగం లేకపోతేనేమి, నెట్టు ఉందిగా పండగ చేసుకుందాము అనుకున్నాను.దానికి కూడా వంద షరతులు పెట్టాడు.ఇక్కడా ఆర్కుట్ కాదు కదా జిమైల్ కూడా ఓపెన్ కాదు.

ఈ బ్లాగు రాయడానికి నేను వారం రోజులుగా కష్టపడుతున్నాను.

ఇక చూస్కోండి.మా జీవితం అంతా బస్సు వచ్చిందా? మిస్సైందా? ఎక్కామా? సీటు దొరికిందా? ఇదే గొడవ....

మా చుట్టాలంతా ఢిల్లీ లో జాబ్ అంటే ఎదో.........అనుకుంటున్నారు.వాళ్ళకు తెలియని ఘోర నిజాలు మీ ముందు ఉంచుతున్నాను....

ఒక పెన్ను కొనుక్కోవాలంటే నెను రెండు కిలోమీతర్లు వెళ్ళాలి.

ఒక సినిమా చూడాలంటే గంటా సేపు ప్రయాణం చెయ్యాలి.

ఇక్కడ పెరిగే పురుగుల మీద ప్రయోగాలు చేసి ఏ సైంటిస్టైనా నోబెల్ ప్రైజు కొట్టేయచ్చు.

ఈ సోది అంతా మాకు ఎందుకు? మమ్మల్నేమి చెయ్యమటావు అంటారా?

ఆస్తికులు నా కోసం దేవుణ్ణి ప్రార్థించండి...

నాస్తికులు... పెద్దగా చెయ్యగలిగింది లేదు! నా కోసం ఒక్క కన్నీటి చుక్క రాల్చండి....

A MYTH CALLED FREEDOM OF WOMEN

Few days ago, our facilitator Mrs.Sangeeta Roy asked us if we think this is an male dominating society??? Surprisingly, most of the boys thought so. and more surprisingly, only few girls of our class thought so... I got no clue why anyone can disagree with this fact. But that incident inspired me to write this post.

Again, there is lot of hypocrisy. Our culture respects women a lot. women are treated as godesses. women are respected a lot. blah blah blah....

But in my opinion, after islam, its in hinduism where women are mostly repressed. But its disguised in the form of respecting them.(sorry, i could not resist draging religion into this matter.i hate it so much!!)

In past, women are not even allowed to speak to other men except their husbands and few relatives. They practically used to live in kitchen. They have no right to take decision in family matters. No education, No job, No hobbies.... Their duty is to cook and look after the children.


The times have changed. Now women are into everything. They are doing jobs. They are getting education. They are having friends. They are going out and partying. HAPPY ENDING??

NO WAY....!!

I wont agree that women are free today.I will say that their position got worse. What they are getting is virtual freedom. It creates the feeling that freedom is there. But in reality, it isn't there!!

I will tell u why.....

In past, the duty of women is to take care of household chores. Now the poor working women have an extra burden. Even they work like their husbands, they have to take care of household chores again at home. we, men are still behaving like we are the only bread winners. And the sadest part is, the women are accepting it!(I am not talking abt metros and aristocratic families here. )


In past, the women are not allowed to go out and mingle with others. now they do.
But with a *(conditions apply) tag. No matter how much they are earning, they have to ask permission if they want to go out at night time. Is it the same with earning male members of the family???

Ofcourse, when I am discussing this with my friends, they said that these rules are for their own safety. Right, but who are they facing danger from?? Again, men?? isn't it????



This attitude is injected to us right from childhood. The degree of freedom given to male and female children will be different. Female child will be alway under probation.
whenever i offer my mom to wash the dishes or clean the floor, she goes crazy saying that they are chores of a women and i should not do them. I can understand her fear. She is afraid that i will do all these chores for my wife. How pity??

Whats wrong with being a woman?? Why can't they have fun like men?? Why do they need to take permissions from everybody for simple things like going to a movie?
Why should n't we lend them a helping hand in house chores??

And to those men who say proudly " i give my wife full freedom.."
"who are u to give her freedom?? who gave u power in first place to relinquish it??

ANSWERS ANYBODY???

ARE WE ENJOYING FREEDOM???

India is a secular country. India is a democratic country. The most distingushing point of indian democracy is freedom of expression. Everybody are entitled to their own opinion.
The points we read in our school text books are nothing but myths. Freedom of expression...? my foot!!

This topic is closely related to my first post-Fans or fanatics. There i pointed the fact that u cant say openly that u didnt liked the picture of a star infront of his fans.
If a relatively trivial topic like cinema can cause such a rage, what can we expect of religion, a drug which defies all rational thoughts??

Thats exactly what happened to Taslima Nasreen in hyd. Whats her mistake?? She criticized Islam in some ways in her books! Big deal!!!

The most shocking aspect is the people who assaulted her are Members of Legislative assembly.
and They are not a bit ashamed of what they did.

Leader of MIM owaisi gave a public statement that if Taslima again came to hyd, they have to implement the Fatwa. Now,thats wat concerns me most- an MLA publicly issues a death threat to a foreign woman and nobody cares!!

The MLA s are roaming freely in the streets. and they filed a case against Taslima that she hurt their religious sentiments!!!
Thet do not get slightest bit of reprimand from the political parties or leaders!
More over, Gulam Nabi Azad advises the writers to stay out of religious topics in their writings.

PINNACLE OF DEMOCRACY, IS'NT IT???

If u say that u r an atheist,people watch u as if u r a new breed of an animal. some instantly start arguing.

If u r in a park with ur girlfriend, u never know in which moment, SHIV SENA or RSS people
catch u and beat u. hell, they dont even let people celebrate valantines day!! how do they feel if we go and interrupt their puja sayin that we dont believe in such rituals??

INDIA IS CELEBRATING 60YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE, BUT WHEN I CONSIDER ALL THESE POINTS I GET THIS STRANGE FEELING- ARE WE INDEPENDENT YET??

ఒక పరిచయం.....ఒక అనుభవం...

i was just coming from shopping. i decided to catch a share auto as its the most economical and sensible thing to do.
i embarked one and sat on the baby seat. after some distance, two women stopped the auto. the driver requested me to sit beside him.
its quite uncomfortable thing to sit beside the driver when u travel in auto but i didnt mind. because its a share auto and u have to adjust sometimes.
but then the unexpected happened.
the driver started the auto and said to me" sorry అండి."

i was bewildered first and then smiled at him.
He said" ఏంటండి చిరునవ్వు విసిరారు నా కేసి...."

"ఇంత వరకు ఎవరూ ఇలా thanks చెప్పలేదు నాకు"అన్నాను.

అతడు నవ్వి " చెప్పడం సంస్కారం సార్!"అన్నాడు ." మీరు సర్దుకున్నారు.నాకు పది రూపాయలు వచ్చాయి. చెప్పాలి కదా..."

నేను మళ్ళీ నవ్వాను.

" ఎం చేస్తూ ఉంటారు మీరు?" అడిగాడు.


జాబ్ వచ్చిందని చెప్పాను.

"మీ future కి all the best సార్! "అన్నాడు.

thanks చెప్పాను.

ఇంతలో నేను దిగాల్సిన చోటు వచ్చేసింది.దిగి అతని గురించి అలోచిస్తూ ఇంటికి వచ్చాను.

communication skills గురించి life skills గురించి special clasees join అయి మరీ నేర్చుకుంటున్నాము.నేర్చుకోగలిగితే జీవితం కంటే మంచి పాఠం ఉండదేమో.......

THE PLIGHT OF TELUGU CINEMA

Phew...! Its quite some time since i've bothered u with my posts. And i came with another one now.


I am in hyderabad now and on a mission to watch as many movies as i can. In the last two days i watched two bolllywood movies- METRO AND SHOOT OUT AT LOKHANDWALA. Thinking about those films made me write this post.


This may sound arrogant but I'm fed up with our telugu movies. Our making standards are really high but what about story and screen play?? For how long we have to watch stupid love stories, faction dramas, scenes where 50 + hero dances with 18- heroine with 100 group dancers, defeats 100 rowdies with single hand, dream songs in stupid foreign locations, the so called out of place item numbers.........

Just think. In this whole year, is there a telugu movie unanimously accepted by audience.
I dont think so... There are some movies commercially faring well but they are just better than the worse ones.Where does the fault lie??

We still believe in formulas. A grand introduction of hero, a solo song, some love scenes, a separate comedy track, some sentiment scenes, a thrilling interval block, powerful flashback episodes, a grand climax fight, a mass song preceeding climax and if possible an item number. Isnt this the so called winning formula?( of course, subjected to slight variations)

Success does not have any formula. The secret lies in talent, hard work and innovation. The plight of our cinema changes only when our writers and directors start believing in story rather than stars, box office formulas and crazy combinations.

Our telugu movies has some funny genres. For example take faction movies. The movie starts with our hero living in some place leading a peaceful life. There will be a heroine who loves him and does all sorts of romantic stuff to attract the audience and to please the audience. Then the grand flashback where the greatness of the hero is revealed. In this flashback there will be another heroine. but this heroine will be sort of family type. She usually dies at the end of flashback or waits for the hero till the climax. End the flash back, comes the climax where hero starts with a sword in his hand and teaches the villian a lesson. One introduction song of hero, two songs each with two heroines and one song with hero and both the heroines. This last song will be usually imagined by a comedian. Just try to count the pictures with this theme. I am sure u will lose it.


Another problem with our heroes is that they lock themselves in a frame called image. Thats not the case with bollywood. The actor like tushar kapoor who acted in full length comedys like kyaa kool hai hum does the role of a gangster in shoot out at lokhandwala. The actor like akshay kumar who is famous for action roles did full length comedy like hera pheri. The most popular hero now in bollywood Abhshek bachan did so many cameos in many films. In shootout, he portrayed a role of a police who dies in first 2 minutes of the movie without even putting up a fight. Can we expect any of these things in telugu cinema. NO!!! The good thing about bollywood is that now there are no fixed artists for roles of heroes and villians. There are no heroes. Only artists.....


One more thing i dont like about our movies is the egos of our stars- the lack of multistarrers.
"I am open to multistarrers but we are looking for a good script" is a common dialogue from every hero. And by good script what they mean is equal weightage to their role if possible more weightage. Can balakrishna play second role in a chiranjeevis movie like salman did in sharukhs kkhh.... NO WAY. Our fans will not be satisfied will be the answer. I cant blame them. The only good thing i can remember is krishna playing Nagarjuna's father in VARASUDU. But he succumbed to pressure and didnt try it again.


One may say" whats so special about bollywood. They are straight lifts from hollywood movies." Its true. But, original are not they are different, more real and convincing than most of our telugu films. What we need is a LAGAAN, a METRO, a MUNNABHAI( minus extra fights and songs ofcourse) , a OMKARA.....Just imagine how different their stories are, how fresh their treatment is... there is no scarsity of fresh plots or talents. The change should be in the attitude of our heroes and writers. Then only we can see some really memorable pictures in the future....

THE PARTING OF WAYS...

I've thought that I would write this topic after I left this Bhimavaram. But I am so eager to share my feelings with all of u that i decided to write it anyway.
I am on the verge of completing my student life.Paradoxically, I am feeling like a kid who is going to the school for the first time. Its just that the school I am entering now is called life. I am no longer secure like i was inside the gates of the college. I have to face the world. I have to choose a career. I have to build my life. I have to come out of my comfort zone. I have to leave few friends i have earned in my college life. This is really hard to imagine but its also necessary.

Its not about what I did in engineering life. Its about what engineering life did to me
(I have borrowed this line from my room mate chaitanya. without permission ofcourse!)
so, what did engineering life did to me?

It turned me from an adolescent to an adult.
It kept me from comforts of home and gave me a taste of life's challenges.
It introduced me to all kinds of people with different attitudes, different behaviours
and helped me calculate where i stand among those people.
It carved my personality although it may alter in future.
It gifted me with some friends I am really proud of.
Finally it prepared me for the battle called life.

Our goals are different. Our paths are different. We have to part in pursuit of our goals.
The life ahead is not as sweet as it is now. but whenver u feel stressed, whenever u feel vexed,
whenver u feel enervated just remember these happy days. Remember ur old pals. The pranks u played, the jokes u craked, the secrets u shared, the mischiefs u managed.....

Completing our graduation is like completing a chapter. The end of this chapter is not end of the book. There may be many chapters left. But I strongly feel that this particular chapter is the
most colourful and most entertaining one in everybody's life and whenever u think of it, a nostalgic smile dances on ur face..............

FINDING ALMIGHTY

I am wandering on the roads aimlessly. I never felt my self this much relaxed in my whole life. Now I don’t have to bother about my job, I don’t have to bother about my past, I don’t have to bother about my future, I don’t have to bother about this world…. This bloody chaotic world. Because I am dead…I committed suicide fifteen minutes ago… I am now a spirit…

I don’t want to discuss the reasons why I committed suicide. I didn’t even try to look at my dead body … I just walked out from the spot while people were gathering around my body…Now, what will happen..? Will guards of Yama come to me… or will some light fall on me and lift me up into heaven like in some Hollywood movies..? I waited there sometime but nothing happened.. I was bored and started wandering on the roads….

It is frustrating…what am I supposed to do? Wander in the streets like some stray dog..? Why don’t any one come to me and take me to heaven or hell or whatever it is…

To pass time, I went into a shopping mall. I started observing the people around me… I just started enjoying my self when I observed a man looking in my direction as if he is observing me… It is impossible though because I learned that I couldn’t be seen. But when he started walking in my direction, I doubted it…he came to me and spoke with a smile” hi, buddy!”
I turned around to see if anybody is beside me…
“I am talking to you…buddy” he said.
I am surprised...” you can see me?”
“Of course...”
“Who are you?”
“Good question…! My name is Sumathi and I am a servant of god…”
I stared at him. He wore a casual pant, tucked in shirt, wore a tie, and wore formal leather shoes. And he is saying that he was servant of god…
“Don’t fall for my dress buddy...” he said”this is our uniform…”
“You people have dress code..?” I asked.
He nodded, obviously enjoying my confusion.
“Ok. I believe you” I finally said” but where the hell are you for these fifteen minutes…? You are supposed to come as soon as I die…”

“A very bad question buddy..” he said calmly” you committed suicide…and that mean you ended your life well before your supposed time and we are not aware of that beforehand. I rushed to reach you as soon as possible. But when I reached the spot you were not there… I started searching you and found you doing some sort of window shopping and having fun…and I was questioned by you “ where are you until now?” now isn’t it a bit unfair…?

I am baffled by his words…”doesn’t god know when a person dies…? I mean I thought if a person committed suicide it is god’s wish and he knows it …”
He put his hand around my shoulder and started walking….
“There are many conceptions buddy… and many misconceptions. If you are committing suicide you are distorting god’s preset schedule…and it’s a sin…
“I … I don’t know…”
“Don’t bother about it buddy…! You can’t do anything about it anyway…”
“I guess so…” I said weakly…
He stared into my eyes” do you trust god…?”
“I love him…” I said firmly…
“Well… that answers a lot of questions…” he said puzzlingly…” Ok. Let’s start our journey…”
“ Hey… wait a minute” I said” forgive my curiosity but am I going to heaven or hell?”
“Neither…” he said.
“What does that mean…?”
He smiled sympathetically at me and I sensed that the answer is not going to be a pleasant one for me….


2

”You are not going anywhere buddy…”he said.
“W…What…?”
“Instead you’re going to meet god…!”
“God…?”
“Yup… it seems he is pleased with you …or may be he wants to tell you something…not every soul gets this kind of opportunity…buddy”
I cant believe my ears…”I am going to meet the god…? Wow”
“Ok! Let’s go…” I said eagerly.
“I am not going anywhere buddy…its you who are meeting the god…”
“Oh…why?”
“His instructions are clear buddy…I am not supposed to come…”
“It’s Ok…”I said “How to reach god?”
He smiled cheerfully…”That is your problem ….”
He went to a bike and started it…I am just recovering from the shock.
“Hey… wait…!” I said running to him.
“What do you mean? How the hell I know where god is…and how to reach him?”
Sumathi said” His orders are clear buddy…he asked me to explain the situation …that’s all. I am supposed to tell you the information…not to give you directions…”
“But…but god lives in heavens…how do I reach the heavens…?” the world around me is spinning.
“Don’t look at the heavens buddy…look around you …. Look in this world…
Don’t search with your eyes…search with your heart…I am sure you will find him” he wore a helmet and buzzed the horn.
“C’mon Sumathi! Philosophers and saints are searching for god for centuries…it’s the toughest question mankind is facing….” I argued.
He smiled ominously…”On the contrary…it is the easiest question mankind is facing…and the answer lies in your heart.”
I am staring at him. My mind is blank now…
“Go buddy…! Find the almighty. After all you have a rendezvous with him…best of luck.”
He winked at me, started his bike and disappeared into thin air.



3

This is not fair….THIS IS NOT FAIR….
I was frustrated with my life…committed suicide and now, my afterlife is even more frustrating…! Here I am …standing alone and have to find the god to talk to him…damn it…! Its sounding like a treasure hunt…!the worst part is that there are no clues to begin with…!
I decided to go to the famous temple in the next street…

*****************
“This god is very powerful…no matter what you wish, he will grant it…” one devotee standing in line is saying to another one.
“Of course! I promised to donate Rs1116/-to god if my son gets good EAMCET rank and my son achieved it…I am here to fulfill my promise.”
A child is asking his mother” mommy! For how long I have to stand in this queue…! I can’t stand any more…”
“Few more hours son! God is testing you your patience. If you pass his test, he will grant your wishes…”his mother is consoling him.

Well…I have this advantage at least…being a spirit; you don’t have to stand in a queue and wait. I directly went into the inner temple to see god…

I came to this temple many times. Every time when I saw the idol, I felt his holiness spread all around me…but first time in my life or better saying first time after my death I can’t feel anything. I stared at the idol blankly…the god is not here…I can feel it. I came out of the temple in despair…

I searched the whole town. I went into every temple, every church, every mosque…I am growing uneasy from time to time…there is something stirring inside me…my heart is trying to tell me something but I am not able to understand it. I came back to the first temple again and sat on the steps.
I observed a signboard saying” Take a step towards me…I will take hundred steps towards you…”
“You liar…!” I blurted out” I am searching for you like a mad dog…now where are you?”
I heard a soft laughter behind me and looked back…an old man is looking at the sky and laughing to himself.
“Hey! What’s your problem, old man?” I cried forgetting that I can’t be heard…
To my surprise, he looked at me and said “My son! Shall I ask you the same question?”
I am baffled….”Can you hear me…?”
“Of course”
“Can you see me…?”
“Shall I describe you…?”
“Well…are you another servant of god?”
He smiled pleasantly” we are all servants of god son! The difference lies in knowing the fact…!”
I thought that he should be a sage, saint or some great man…
I am filled with new hope as I sat near him and said” Can you help me?”
“No…but I can guide you…”
I didn’t understand.
“Guide me…? To where…?”
He stared at me and said “To your destiny…”







4


I felt so relieved after I told him the whole story…
“Very interesting….”he said.
“Not for me…”I said angrily…
He said calmly” you committed suicide…”
“Yes…”
“Why…?”
“I would be very happy to avoid that discussion” I said curtly.
“No son! I feel that this is the very reason why god is testing you…tell me”

I started uneasily” well… I hated this world. I hated mankind…every one is so dishonest…All I find in this world is corruption, cruelty, cunningness, nepotism…I felt so alone…god didn’t come to my rescue… I was cheated by every body. In each and every person around me all I saw was evil…evil…and in a desperate moment I just took my decision and jumped in front of a running truck…”
The old man sat there silently for a long time….then he said” well son! It seems that god has some different opinions about this world…”
“I don’t understand…” I said………
He smiled and said “let’s take a walk….”

***************

We came out of the temple. The old man pointed out a man…he was the man I saw in the temple who boasted about his son’s EAMCET rank and his promise to god. He is quarrelling with a shopkeeper.
“No…! I won’t give you a paisa…why should I? I didn’t ask you to guard my shoes…! You people are robbing our hard earned money…! You will go to hell…”

Then I observed the mother and son coming out of temple.” mommy! Can I donate something to this poor old man…he looks so hungry” the child is asking his mother.
“Shut up and follow me…we don’t have time for these things” the mother scolded the boy and took him away.
The old man said” Man is the craziest creature I ever seen…he believes in the invisible god he doesn’t know but he doesn’t believe his fellowmen…
He donates thousands of rupees to god and yet doesn’t give a damn to his hungry fellow beings… he stands in queue for long hours for god’s darshan
But he doesn’t have time for charity….”




I am trying to grasp what he is saying….he continued" I hope you understood why you couldn’t find god in this temple…they are not praying god…they are negotiating with god …you give me this; I will donate to your temple this…
It is sheer business. You can’t expect god to sit there and listen to their dumb proposals… can you?”

I nodded…" Then where is god…?”
He smiled softly….” The question is not ‘where is god…?’My son…” he said”it is ‘Who is god…?’ ”
“I ….I don’t understand…”
“You are in wrong track son…! You have to know who god is…and then you will know automatically where he is…”
I shook my head” Ok…who is god…”
He said cheerfully “with that question …my son! You reached half of the distance…”



5
“God is not a supreme government who takes petitions from people and does some favor to them and charging them for that…it is not the right approach to reach the god…”
I am becoming impatient. “Hell! Then what’s the right approach…?”
The old man spoke cogently“God is meant to be a belief… a belief we believe so ardently….
He is your friend….you confess your sorrows and share your joys with him…
He is your father…you fear him and obey him…..
He is your mother…you ask him to forgive your mistakes…
God is there to control your behavior…To lead your life in the right way…
He is there to give you a sense of security…”

We didn’t talk for the next ten minutes…I am thinking about what he just said…….
“I understand…” I finally said.
“No….you don’t” the old man smiled omniously.

***************

“Now tell me…” said the old man” in your life, did you ever feel a voice inside you advising you? Forcing you to do something or warning you against something…”

“s…some times…”
“Well…then you heard god…”
“Wwhat..?” I am baffled.
The old man explained…”son! The answer to your quest is so simple and yet so complex…god is always with you …waiting to be found…waiting to be heard… he is in you…he speaks to you…all you have to do is to believe him… to believe his presence in you…
I sat there in silence. Sumathi’s words are ringing in my ears…”it is the easiest mankind is facing….and the answer lies in your heart…”
The old man said” Son! You said you found evil in every person around you…from now on try to find god in each person…try to find god in yourself…
and listen to him….you will live your life happily…”
“I reckon it’s too late for that” I said in despair.
“No ….its not…”said the old man.” I will give you another chance…but this time don’t end your life in vain…”
I am baffled. Suddenly a flash of light appeared before me and I closed my eyes in reflex. An acute pain started in my head. The world around me is spinning.
*****************

With great effort I opened my eyes and looked around my surroundings.
A man in white coat appeared from nowhere and looked into my eyes and
Said” my god! We thought we lost you…!” and called for others.
I closed my eyes again. I am finding it very hard to even think…I feel so
lethargic…
Now I can hear voices around me. Somebody is injecting something into me…
The first coherent thought came to me is” I AM ALIVE…!”



6

Is it a dream……..or did it really happen..?
Did my subconscious mind played tricks on me?
Did I really talk with god…?
“Believe me friend…! You are almost dead. I can’t explain how you made it but now you are out of danger… ”the doctor is saying to me.
“Its all god’s grace ….thank him” said an old nurse.

I closed my eyes. I don’t care if what happened is real or not…I now realize the truth. I can feel the god in me… I will face the world with his help….
I will listen to him in critical times…this time I am not going to end my life in despair. I am going to succeed in my life….I will find my destiny… after all I found the almighty……….